Individuality

i am... how magnificent that sounds.

i am young, i am smart, i know this and i can do that, and i.. i.. i..

i am just wonderful !

so if i am so wonderful, why do i sometimes feel like i am drowning in a sea of insecurity and grappling  so fervently to hang on to... that which i am unable to even define.

i am free, yet i feel so entangled. i do so much, yet i feel indebted. i know so many yet there is a unfathomable loneliness. 

you can follow a path, give in charity, read inspirational quotes and yet... yet, there is a hole that seems impossible to fill.  

we seem to be limited by the very individuality we hold so dear.

somewhere in the recesses of our consciousness, we know... we are acutely aware that we are incomplete... that there is more. it is that restlessness in not only wanting more, but in wanting it all  that pushes us to want to go beyond ourselves.. to hold infinity in the palm of our hands.     

but how ?  and where does the error in our perception lie ?  obviously we are doing something wrong for we are no where close to experiencing infinity.

it seems we trying to catch the moon that is reflected in the shaky waters of the lake.

we try to learn more ( with our mind )

we try to understand the why ( with our intellect )

and still we are stuck. still here. 

in our frustration we say there is nothing else.. nothing beyond us. we are the final frontier .. 

and yet, still... we feel incomplete. 

how do we stop "learning" how do we fall into the ecstasy of "being" ?

perhaps this "i" is not so wonderful after all...

live well.