Square slot, Round peg

try as you may, the two simply cannot make a perfect fit..

so you do your pooja in the morning, go to the mosque on friday or church on sunday - what about the rest of the time? your underlying core finds its expression in its daily interaction with the world as you know it... this is who you are.

whether these are days of excessive indulgence or quiet contemplation, how you live on a daily basis is what defines you... chanting a mantra for 2 minutes in the morning is not going to stop you from wanting that glass of wine by 6pm ... the call for happy hour is way stronger than that!  you may praise god and say he is all love and ever present but the guy who is driving you to work is an imbecile - where did the love go? did god decide that this particular cab driver was suddenly not part of his "everywhere"?  is love suddenly not the answer?

so what's the problem here?  Nothing at all if you are honestly being yourself - the issues arise when the way you project yourself is intrinsically not who you are or who you could be ... when what you say is your faith is something you have no faith in, for you do not practice it and it finds no expression in your life.

this fracture ultimately leads to repression, shame and frustration .. a ticking time bomb, the repercussion of which will not only be deadly to yourself but also to those around you.

if you want to go out every night, do it. exhaust yourself, drain your life force and waste away - there is no judgement - its your life to do as you please.  why make excuses for it ?
if you want to study, evolve and keep a marginal social contact with the world, that is fine too.
if you manage to find a balance, apply what you study and help those around you, you may try to do so.

there is no right way or wrong way for all water finds its way to the ocean.

the point is this... if you feel the need to pray, a part of you wants more - more than what you know your life to be. but what is this more and why do you forget that you want it once you step out of your silence? what pulls you into the chaos again and again?  the same clubs, the same indulgences, the same need to be praised and admired, the same need to show the world who you are, the same need to accumulate more and more, the same insecurities, the same fear of being invisible, the same, the same, the same  ... how exhausting to be perpetually stuck like a fly in amber ...

and again in that silence, the same emptiness...

so what am i selling here? nothing! your life is your own - it has absolutely nothing to do with me - all i am doing is holding up the mirror - look closely and ask yourself : " do you like what you see ? "

live well.